Her Angel
by Ashley A
Summary: It's the end of high school for the Scooby gang. Angel has just left. What if Buffy followed him?


Disclaimer:  I don't own any of these characters, if I did Angel and Buffy would still be together!  Sob.

Set up:  Takes place at the end of "Graduation Day, Part 2."  Angel has just left.  Buffy and the Scoobies are reacting to the end of high school.  What would happen if Buffy decided to follow Angel?  Please forgive the liberties taken with the scripts for GDP2 and Surprise. 

Feedback:  Yes, please.

  


"We survived."  Oz says.  "It was a hell of a battle," replies Buffy.  "Not the battle- High School."  He clarifies.

They sit quietly, staring.  Oz continues.  "We're taking a moment," Buffy and Willow  share a look, then rise.  "And we're done."  They walk away from the school, together, always.  They made it.  Buffy can't actually believe it.  Smoke curls around them as they make their way through the remaining fire engines, confused parents, and sobbing students.  Xander, Cordelia and Oz continue on towards Oz's van, as Willow notices Buffy has stopped walking.  "Buffy?" she asks her friend, concerned.  "What is it?  Did we forget something?"  Buffy snaps back to reality from her thoughts and smiles a small wistful smile at her best friend.  "No….I just never thought I would see this moment.  I made it.  Through high school.  Will, after that first year and the fire at Hemery, I never thought I would get this far.  Heck, nobody thought I would.  We've been through so much.  I have to tell you, without you and the guys, I don't believe I would have made it."  Willow is taken aback at her words.  The girls are both beyond touched.  They embrace, both feeling that no more words are needed.  As Willow steps away from her friend, she is surprised to see that Buffy's previous jubilant, if somewhat subdued, expression has turned to one of pure sorrow.  Willow can only gape as small, silver tears roll silently down the other girl's face as she sinks to the wet grass, diploma forgotten.  "Buffy!  What is it?" She crouches next to Buffy, touches her arm.  "Oh, Will.  I thought I could be brave and not do this!  Damn it!"  She scrubs at her face._  Stop it Buffy, he's gone. _ Willow suddenly realizes what it is Buffy is so upset about.  "Did he…not say goodbye?"  She asks hesitantly.  "He….no.  I saw him, Will.  He…just, looked at me.  He just looked.  Then he left."  Buffy forces herself to stand up, her friend still watching her, a concerned frown on her small forehead.  "Well, Buffy, I don't know if there was anything he could have said.  Angel's not exactly large with the verbage."  She tries to say something, anything that would help her friend.  Buffy nods.  "I know, Will, I know.  But I feel like I need to see him, to say….Oh, I don't know," she's grasping at straws and she knows it.  _I am telling Willow the truth or am I just not ready to give him up?  _She suddenly realizes what she does want.  A first for her in a long while.  She smoothes down her rumpled jacket, picks up her forgotten diploma, just a piece of paper, but really so much more.  Angel.  She needs him.  After all that has happened, she can't let him walk out like this. She can't.  She absently fingers the rapidly shrinking bite mark on her neck; just touching it again makes her shudder slightly, in places she shouldn't feel it.  Willow is looking at her with a strange expression, realization dawning on her face.  "Uh, Buffy, I don't know if what you have in mind is such a good idea…" she starts to run after Buffy, who is making a bee line for the other Scoobies, who are gathered next to Oz's van and Cordy's car.  "Will, I'm sorry.  I can't let it go like this, I have to see him.  We owe it to each other."  Willow screeches to a halt right behind Buffy as she stops next to Cordy. "Can I borrow your car?  It's kind of an emergency." Cordy raises the regal queen eyebrow at Buffy.  "Look Buffy, it's not that I don't trust you, but well, I don't trust you."  "Look, Cordy, I'll have it back soon.  I know exactly where I'm going.  It won't take long."  "Uh, well…"  Xander takes the keys from Cordy's hand.  "Buffy will treat your car just like her own, Cor.  No worries."  Buffy is touched by Xander's words.  She knows how he feels about Angel.  "Thanks, guys.  Will- can you cover when my mom gets back in town?"  "You know I can," Willow gives her a smile, but isn't quite convinced.  Buffy opens the car door, steps inside, throwing her diploma on the passenger seat.  "You know where you're going?"  Buffy lays her hand on Willow's.  "There's only one place he would go, Will.  Thanks.  I mean it."  She rolls the window up, puts it in gear, and roars out of the parking lot.  Cordy winces as Xander takes her hand.  "Well….if this experience doesn't make me want as much sugary caffeinated goodness as I can imbibe,  I don't want to know what would."

  


Angel sits on the packed sand.  Did he actually just leave?  Is the ascension actually over?  What was he thinking?  _Did I leave her?  What the hell I am going to do now?  _When he was sick, dying, he knew he was wrong to leave her.  He had made a mistake.  He had tried to tell her, but it wasn't her.  In his delirium he had confessed his blunder to Willow, so sure it had been his beloved Buffy sitting there.  Then, when it had actually been Buffy sitting there, he could think of nothing except how important it was to make her know he wouldn't leave, wouldn't die without seeing her once more.  In that moment, when she gave her life blood to him without a second thought for herself, her own life of no consequence to her, he was so swept up in the taste and experience of human blood _her blood so sweet like liquid fire _that he couldn't tell her.  He shudders, still tasting her.  Then the hospital. Then the looks on their faces when he told them that it had been Buffy that had saved him, cured him.  Those looks cemented the choice for him; Buffy was better off without him.  She had plenty of friends to look after her; she didn't need a man who would feed off his true love to save his own sorry ass.

The beach is quiet now, most of the partying teens on their way home to a well deserved night of rest after a very strange graduation ceremony.  He looks out at the waves, twisting the silver ring on his right hand, remembering the night he gave its mate to her.  _It's a Claddagh ring.  The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty.  The heart, well, you know…Wear it with the heart pointing toward you, it means you belong to somebody.  Like this._

He sighs, not realizing he has twisted the ring so hard into his skin that he bleeds.  He doesn't know what to do; where to go.  He can feel the sun pulling at him slightly, _need to get inside soon.  _He looks at his hand finally, noticing the blood.  He stares at the wound, surprise crossing his dark eyes.  The small gash closes as he watches.  A memory comes unbidden.  _You almost went away today_, she tells him_.  We both did_, he answers_.  Angel, _she hesitates,_ I feel like, if I lost you…but you're right.  We can't be sure about anything- Shhhhh.   I… _she turns to him.  _You what?  _He is unafraid.  Knows what he needs now.  _I love you.  I try not to, but I can't stop- _she answers him with the same passion.  _Me too.  I can't either.  _He leans toward her, kisses her gently, then with growing fervor. Breaks away, knowing there is no turning back.  _Buffy.  Maybe we shouldn't-  _He still feels her hand on his face even now.  _Don't.  Just… kiss me._

_  
_

__

Shaking his head, trying to clear the memory of the one night of love he and his heart mate had had, he removes the Claddagh ring from his hand.  He stands, leather coat flapping around in him in the pre dawn salt breeze.  Places the ring on the sand, settling it into the loose pieces.  "Goodbye, my love," he whispers to no one, to her, to himself.  He turns his back on the one remaining piece of physical evidence of the last three years of his life, so quick, yet lingering in his mind and heart like it was forever.  He walks slowly to his GTX parked on the hill above the small pocket park.  Lets himself in, starts the monstrosity of a car.  He sits, still not ready.  Unbidden tears slide down his pale face, making his deep brown eyes shine.  He punches the dash with his fist, once, twice, a third time.  Not bothering to wipe the wetness from his face, Angel finally backs the car up, and turns south onto the highway, passes a street sign.

Los Angeles      300 miles

  


Buffy pulls into the empty parking lot of the pocket park, a small stretch of beach she had been to only once before with Angel, but remembers like she has been only there her whole life.  She feels him, can almost smell him.  She sees the taillights of a car traveling south on the road ahead of her as she pulls into a parking space.  

She puts the car in park, and recklessly throws open the door; barrels out, scanning the horizon for a sign, any sign of his silhouette.  Nothing.  "Angel?" she calls out.  No answer.  She takes the stairs down to the beach two at a time.  "Angel…are you here?"  She runs to the edge of the water, looking for any evidence that he was here, had been here.  She is fast losing hope.  Lowers herself to the ground.  Drawing her knees to her chest, she is confused.  _I felt him.  I know I did…._ Mechanically running her hands through the sand around her, she feels a small lump under her right one.  Picks it up.  Her face crumples when she realizes what it is.  "Oh, Angel," she sobs, knowing for sure now why she had felt his presence when she arrived.  _Oh God, the car on the road…oh my god, he's really gone. _ She collapses on the wet sand as the day finally breaks around her, almost unearthly in it's shining glory.  She knows she can't follow now, she has to let him go.  She shivers as she cries, cries her guts out for a love that never got to be what it should have been, what it could have been, and for the man she won't get to grow old with. Her Angel.  _I'll never forget…I'll never forget…I'll never forget._  She grips the ring her love has left behind, sure in the knowledge that he won't ever forget either.


End file.
